A set back

Well i had a midwives app yesterday.

still only about 3 cm. WTF!!!!!!! I felt let down by my own body.
I left the app in tears. Knowing that again... yet again... the road to get baby out is going to lead me to the hospital with drugs.

The only thing i didn't want. If things move along with only water being broke. Well i can do it.. but soon as they give that jump start meds... its over.. and big needle here i will have to come.

I spent all night crying. Now i don't need to be induced... i'm only just over my due date. i have until the 24th. But i can't be pregnant anymore. Between having two boys already. A husband going back to work on monday after taking this week off, and a ton of things to do... My body can't take it anymore. The fact that i have not had a good night sleep in a month doesn't help either. it is 730 in the morning and I have been up since 5. The kicker.. no baby crying outside. just making mommy go crazy from the inside. LOL.

So now i sit and wait. I told my midwives last night that i wanted to be induced on Monday or Tuesday... if he has not come by then. SO they agreed. so as of the 18th or 19th i will have a baby.

AND THIS IS SOOOOOO THE LAST ONE EVER!!!!!!!