SAD/HAPPY DAY

Its funny, today is a sad happy day.

Happy cuz its TOM'S birthday... (HAPPY BIRTHDAY)
Still happy cuz i had a midwife app today and i got to see MEL and SARAH. Who were with me through Lucas's birth.

But today is a sad day.
To marks the 9th year my mother passed away.

Every year i try to forget it. i know its coming, but the day of i try to make myself busy so i can't think of it. And i did that again today. But it did not good. I took a look at Lucas sleeping and i broke down. My mom would be in love with him so much. God she would spoil him to death. And i know she would love Gary. Because i think he is the kinda person she thought up for me. Someone who would take care of me in everyway. Treat me like the angel iam. LOL...

I know she would have loved our wedding. And would of hated walking me down the alse, but would have done so with a smile. I know she would be hoping this baby was a boy as well. She was so the tomboy.

But also around this time i wonder if i would be where i am now, if she was still alive.
you know that old saying everything happens for a reason. well maybe it does. but maybe othe people just know whats going to happen. I think my mom knew it was going to be her time. And i think she made a mends with everything and everyone. Even the evil scopies... LOL.. I know she loved me, because it was the last thing she said to me. Before she died. And i know she is always with me. In my heart and in my soul. I see her in Lucas. I like to think she is his ANGEL. and she watch's over him. And she is watching over the new baby growing inside as well.

I love you mommy,